OK, I think I figured this thing out. I didn't want to actually play the game, no matter how many cheats there are. I just want a high score.
So torrented Sothink, downloades swf, decomplied, etc, as explained in the sticked topics. The key lines in the actionscript are:
score = (w - (e = e - 5) - 2) * 2 - 8;
MindJoltAPI.service.submitScore(score);
which I think correspond to P-code
//96 04 00 08 2f 08 27
_push "score" "w"
//1c
_getVariable
//96 04 00 08 29 08 29
_push "e" "e"
//1c
_getVariable
//96 05 00 07 05 00 00 00
_push 5
//0b
_subtract
//87 01 00 00
_storeRegister 0
//1d
_setVariable
//96 02 00 04 00
_push register0
//0b
_subtract
//96 05 00 07 02 00 00 00
_push 2
//0b
_subtract
//96 05 00 07 02 00 00 00
_push 2
//0c
_multiply
//96 05 00 07 08 00 00 00
_push 8
//0b
_subtract
//1d
_setVariable
//96 02 00 08 2f
_push "score"
//1c
_getVariable
//96 07 00 07 01 00 00 00 08 01
_push 1 "MindJoltAPI"
//1c
_getVariable
//96 02 00 08 12
_push "service"
//4e
_getMember
//96 02 00 08 30
_push "submitScore"
It took me a while to wrap my head around this (and I'm not even sure I fully understand it), because I'm used to c++ and Java. Finally I realized the key part was at the end of score calculation, where it pushes an 8, then subtracts it. If instead I pushed a 2 and ADDED it, my score would be ten points higher than what I'd earned. If I pushed and added a 0x3E0 (992), it would be a thousand points higher.
I know computers often work with 4-byte ints, with the bytes listed in reverse order. So the "08 00 00 00" needed to change to "E0 03 00 00".
I found a list of bytecodes in a sticky thread. There were several involving "add", but its pretty clearly "ActionAdd = x0A". So I changed the 0B to 0A. It's not a coincidence that related operations have similar bytecodes.
So then I downloaded cheatengine, ran it, opened it to firefox, as described in the stickies. The AOB I searched for was "96 05 00 07 08 00 00 00 0b", which luckily appears exactly once. The AOB I replaced it with was "96 05 00 07 E0 03 00 00 0A".
And everything worked great. Started the game, died immediately, got 1000 points, beat all my friend's high scores.
Thanks for the stickies, konghack forums!